84 Days Later - PASS Workbook Section 1

10:38 am

Soit's impossible to hand-write my workbook stuff becuase i type much faster, my hand doesn't cramp up, and it's not like "oh whatcha writing there?" for others to see.

Step 3: Make a list of EVERYONE who was involved with you:
a) getting pregnant
b)deciding to have the abortion
c)participating int he abortion

Joey - 18% - for rarely wanting sex, for making me uncomfortable about sex or making me feel bad about myself, for not being proactive about HIS "abilities", for putting the onus of everything on me not realizing that people view ME like i'm the broken on, and wanting to just feel GOOD about myself, which lead to the affair. For making me unsure if he's even able to have kids because he didn't care to find out, so i never could even guess if it was his. For being so clueless that his wife had an abortion.
Chandler - 18% - for not even being a possible father option, his emotional and financial states were just too jacked up. For the horrible things he said that he can't take back. For being delusional into thinking that he could help raise it (really? you'd rob a bank? that was your solution?). For fighting with me every day until that point, for fighting with me a few hours after because HE was insecure that i was then going to leave him.
FPA clinic - 4% - for not having counselors available before and after. For $400, damn right you can take a few mins for that.
Me - 25% - obviously.
Friends/Social Circle/Family - 15% - for being so rigid and close-minded, for making it so that there's no way i could ever be with any of them if i got pregnant and it turned out to be someone else's. Very few would have stood by me.
The doctor - 3% - just for his lawsuit online and freaking me the eff out.
The anesthesiologist - 17% - for making the whole thing "real", for the incredible physical pain, for not answering me, for making something really bad turn into a complete nightmare.

Step 4 - assign an anger number and write a letter to that person about it.

(to be continued)


Anonymous said...

The blame thing is always the hardest part I think. I am pretty sure I put a lot of the blame for my first abortion on my mom because of her religious views etc. And a lot of the blame for my second abortion on my partner, for not saying that having a baby (not once) was doable.

Sorry you and Chandler are fighting again.


Anonymous said...

The clinic didn't do any counseling beforehand? That's really unfortunate. Did they talk to you at ALL before, or what?

-placenta sandwich

Monica Geller said...

Couseling: nope. Not one bit. I think i get more counseling when i see my optometrist.

Chandler: i'm so effing annoyed with him right now. And what am i supposed to do...of cours ei have to be the bigger man, because i'm the one that went back to my husband. BUT...i told himt hat LAST YEAR...it's not like i promised him anything, ever. ANd when i met him i was with my husband.

placenta sandwich said...

The counseling thing sort of shocks me. In my training and various jobs it's been the assumed standard of care. I've always known that procedures can vary quite a bit among clinics, but most of the people I've gotten to know in the field who worked at other places seemed to have the same expectations: sure, a lot of women might not need a whole lot of talking before or after, but it's better for a patient to have it and not need it than need it and not have it, so we should do our best to make sure the steps are described, the questions are answered, the aftercare is explained, and the patient has an idea of whether she'll cope well afterward. Blah, it makes me really upset that they didn't give you what you needed.

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