I don't really have any news to report. I'm not emotional over the abortion at all, baby stuff hasnt' really gotten to me, and Chandler is just being...depressed and "blah". I tried cheering him up yesterady and he gave me a "while it's great that you're happy and your life is going great, i feel like you're rubbing it in my face". Because i sent him a text telling him to smile. That's it.
So, whatever, i put in a bit of effort last night, one last one this morning, i'm not going to let him bring me down. He's a classic psych book right now, and he actually got my hopes up when he said something in his life was going to change on Saturday. Well, so much for that.
the more i think about it, the more i realize how much of the crappy things in his life are his own fault. Getting booted out of the first apt for shooting off hsi mouth, losing his first job definitely because he rubbed that boss lady the wrong way (he knows nothing about the way the corporate world works...if someone is your superior, regardless if you report to them or not, you don't act like an unlikeable dick! It's the same as biting the hand that feeds you). Then losing the next job, again was his fault for spamming Joey with texts about me (which is a whole other issue, that i'm not over and for my own protection, won't be over).
I paid for him to join a sports team with me, and instead of getting chummy with the MEN...he got chummy with the women. It's like he's begging for drama. Why would you do that?! And the whole 'i was raised by women' is such BS. I was raised around 99% men, you don't see me chumming up and only being friends with the guys. It's not appropriate and it just causes problems. Had he chummed up to the guys, then he'd have "ins" for networking purposes, etc. All of those guys are pretty-to-very successful...those are the people he should have created frienships with.
If he wants to struggle his entire life, that's his choice. I'm making 2010 great. Either he can get on board or he can sit and pout. I'm not coddling him anymore.
In other news I realized now that I'm not spending $$ on drinks, food, etc for him and I anymore...i have a lot more disposable cash. so i bought 2 pairs of boots and 3 bras from VS. While it feels good to help others, i'm not gonna lie...being able to splurge guilt-free on stuff for myself feels pretty damn good.
coming up on anniversary - although I'm not even sure which one (just checked 3rd). I come back every year to share that I still have no regrets. No "traumatic stress" follow me. ...
4 months ago