53 days later - ghosts of memories past

Lately I've been viewing this abortion like it was a "location", and each day is like a new mile that i'm driven further away from it. So when you're only 5 days out, it's like you can still "see" the abortion so you can be upset still. But it's like i'm 53 miles away...i feel like I have no right to still act as if the Abortion building is right around the corner.

I know i need to allow myself to grieve and all that, but with family visiting i can't even do any of the workbook stuff, etc.

Plus I'm already pretty emotional when it comes to my jacked-up family, let alone since the surgery I'm SUCH a baby. So within a few hours of the visit I was already screaming and getting emotional.

Today i've come up with a "strategy" and it's helped tremendously in handling the emotions.

I've also been thinking about shelling out the $$ to see my old therapist, however for the cash i'd rather put it towards bills or a cleaning service. I'm just wary to tell her about the abortion...i don't want to go down that path, i don't want any more people knowing nor do I want to open the pandora's box with her. Hell, i don't want it written in even more spots that I had this.

It's like I want to erase that this happened, but I want the right to be able to be sad about it as well.