27 Days - inching further away from that moment

27 Days

2:14 pm
I WAS feeling pretty good today, but all it takes is one crummy email from Chandler out of the blue and again i'm back to the anxiety-filled sensations I usually feel, the very reason that I wasn't happy in our pseudo-relationship. Sigh. I wish he knew: the calm and normal and non-drama he behaves, the more I gravitate to him.

Anyway, it's better in the grand scheme: the more he pulls his passive-aggressive stunts the better I can keep my head on straight. I really wish I could just shake him and tell him he is his #1 self saboteur in all areas of his life.

Tonight i'm going to happy hour with some ex coworkers, ALL of them having given birth recently. It's so hard to be the odd one out. And now, i'm the odd one out because of my own damn fault.

I'm feeling good, but I'm also pretty shaky, so I don't know how long I'll be able to handle them. Sigh.

I'm going to go take a nap. There's no way i'm going to be able to survive anything tonight otherwise.

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