!! Patient X !!

One of the problems (just one? ha...no one of trillions) was how I felt like Patient X. Let me explain.

Imagine something straight out of a movie or history books, something like the holocaust. People go in with a story on their face, their clothes say who they are, their hair indicates their age, you can see a person just by looking at them.
Strip them of their clothes, shave their head, put them in a smock, and they all look like clones of each other. Expressionless, non-human clones.

Patient X.

That's how I felt. Once you change, everything changed. All of us in our disposable uniforms: little blue booties, stupid blue paper smock with a white ribbon for the waist and white tape to close it up around your neck, and a stupid blue shower cap doodad that I refused to put on until the very end because I already felt bad enough.

not that you couldn't tell the employees/nurses from the patients, but it was like we were just lab rats or experiments walking around the scientists, with our uniforms to make us all non-human...it was like this was the uniform of The Stupid Irresponsible Girl.

which i know isn't realistic...considering one chick was there because she was having a miscarriage anyway but it was hurting too much and she had to take care of her other kids so she wanted to get it over with

I was so happy when I could put my clothes back on again. I mean, "happy". I kept the little booties for some reason, probably because i'm my mother daughter and I hate throwing things out when i'm sure i can find some obscure reason to use them.

This post probably made no sense. But this Patient X thing has gone though my mind quite often, and it felt like I had lost a voice, an opinion, emotion while i was Patient X. My hand pain didn't matter...becuase I was Patient X. It felt like i could have ran around screaming "fire!" and no one would have listened.

I wonder what other people wear when they get abortions. I wonder if they felt as much of a douche as I did wearing those stupid outfits, carrying my plastic bag of my stuff like a homeless lady about to get sterilized.