Gotta be careful

First off, I created a faux gmail account for this, and half the time i keep forgetting it. It's TooSmart4This, you'd think i'd remember it (or perhaps not an the email address is just plain wrong).

At my work we have dual monitors. I keep the one on the right tilted so that if I have anything non-work related, it wont' be evident when someone walks by. Not a big deal, fortunately my company is very "just get your sh*t done we don't care if it's at the beach", but when people walk in i immediately open another screen on the right monitor so that by the time they're closer to me, something non-fun is up.

I went to the bathroom AGAIN, and when I had locked my computer (we have to do that before we go soemwhere, which everyone should do) i had my outlook email on the left, and this blog open on the right.

As I walked back in, a coworker followed me in to talk about something...all I hoped is that he wouldn't ask me to check something which would require me to log in, and immediately the "I'm really having an abortion?" header would jump out before i could minimize it. Note to self: be more stealth in the next week.

I wish i weren't so hungry! I refuse to believe it's from pregnancy, you're only supposed to have like an extra 100 cals a day, this whole thing of eating for two is what overweight people use to allow themselves to eat more. you're really only supposed to gain around 10-20lbs during your pregnancy if you're relatively small-framed and short (which i am). And being that i'm what, 4 weeks along, i dont' think that's an excuse to eat 2 bags of cheetos.

From the Un-Expecting site, she mentioned her lack of a glow. You have NO idea. My skin is a mess, fortunately I have a tetracycline prescription I got from a dermatologist for breakouts but I'm sure if i were keeping this baby, i shouldn't be using it. My upper lip is a disaster. I got one so bad above my lip, and then of course i started picking at it, which actually somehow made the skin RIP all the way down my lip. Then i had to go into meetings looking like I had some big herpes sore on my mouth. I didn't have any lipstick (I'm a lipgloss/lipsmackers kinda girl) so I had to suffer through. Lovely.

I napped for over an hour at lunch in my car.

So I reiterate: other than bad skin, tiny bladder, and extreme fatigue, you wouldn't know I'm pregnant. WTF can't I briefly get boobs?!!! Well, i suppose it's a good stretch marks...there'd be nothing worse than an A-cup with stretch marks on them.

Oh I'm also crazy emotional. But I think that's again not so much the pregnancy as much as oh YEAH something i wanted so badly for years I now have but cant' keep and I'm just plain pissed off at myself.

This whole thing blows. $395...i actually think my insurance would cover it,but I'm trying to be as stealth as possible. Knowing my luck if i needed fertility treatment down the road they'd deny me because of this, and I'm already annoyed i had to give my social (i should have accidentally given one digit wrong, but in my hesitation I figured being shady wouldn't be good for the karma i desperately need).

Coworker just came in again. Man I should do like i do for my other blogs and type this up in notepad t hen paste so it'll be a bit more inconspicuous.


Anonymous said...

A baby is going to die, and you are worried about stretch marks.

Anonymous said...

I think that honesty is the best policy. you messed up big time and you're right, karma will come find you. it may be hard, but telling the truth will be extremely liberating...and the truth is most likely going to come out sometime especially since youre writing a blog about the experience..and the longer you wait the more disgusted the people you love are going to feel. I wish you all the best luck, strength, and happiness going forward.

Anonymous said...

"Gotta Be Careful"

Take your own advice from this blog entry's title.

BIRTH CONTROL or keep your legs closed. HTH. Baby Killer :)

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