Okay. Now i'm freaked out.

At this exact moment, Joey is watching sports on tv. And i'm looking up more abortion stuff. I'm getting it done by these folks: Family Planning Associates.

I read the FAQs, and it mentioned possibly needing "rhogam". Didn't know what the eff that was. Looked it up. It's given to women who are O or A negative, something about preventing antibodies from being created that'll f*ck up future pregnancies. Guess who's lucky enough to be O Negative? Oh yes, me.

For some reason, this is freaking me out. Like what if they forget. What if *I* forget. Do i want local or general? I'm more than fine with general anesthesia, but then i'm like what if i get a guy doctor. I've only ONCE had a male doctor do gyno stuff, and it was horrific (he was a nice guy, it was just...even with my head turned i was fully aware the hands on me were that of a guy, and at the very least dude should buy me dinner first).

I always thought if i did it, it wouldn't be a big deal. I am so desensitized to everything. When i donate blood, i "race" with friends to see who can fill the bag the fastest. Now i'm getting the heebee geebees. Hell, i doubt there'll be any protestors but still, if there was even one...that would freak me the eff out.

I'm trying not to cry. He's watching South Park. It's 10:30pm and i have so much work due tomorrow. I can't think.

I can't even figure out how far along I am. Apparently they calculate how far along you are based on the start date of your period. Which puts me at 4 weeks, 2 days. But i did one of those pee stick things to tell when you're ovulating (don't ask), so that would put me at 3 weeks.

Going insane thinking about this.


Deborah said...

So you were trying to get pregnant? Or trying to prevent with the ovulation test?

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