could time go any slower?

It's like every hour I think of a new fear or concern to consume my brain on the subject.

This hour: alcohol.

I'm not a big drinker, i might have like 2 glasses of red wine a week. Back to my concern regarding the bachelorette at my house the next day, I have 0 problems not drinking. I even anticipate driving a group of us around. But I damn well know I'm going to get people screaming "why aren't you drinking blah blahhhhhh!".

So you'd think I would have the right to just decline, but if i do that then I'll get everyone screaming "omg...are you PREGNANT?!!!" which is the last thing I'll want to hear. I wonder if I can just have a glass and hold onto it all night. Maybe get up to go to the kitchen a lot and secretly spill out my drinks.

I'm also incapable of going a day without a nap. The only reason I'm awake right now is because I got into a "distract myself" frenzy and have some moroccan chicken on the stove.

I'm babbling about a lot of nothingness. I'm irritating myself. I feel shallow. I feel stupid. I feel like if i were reading this as a stranger, i'd hate me right now and think "God, i can't believe people as retarded as her live on this earth".

I try not to think every little noise or groan or growling or movement in my stomach is from my uterus. I can't wait till i can go back to not noticing everything.


Anonymous said...

You were doing the whole countdown to kill the baby. Why didn't you drink? not like it made a difference...

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