Gotta be careful

First off, I created a faux gmail account for this, and half the time i keep forgetting it. It's TooSmart4This, you'd think i'd remember it (or perhaps not an the email address is just plain wrong).

At my work we have dual monitors. I keep the one on the right tilted so that if I have anything non-work related, it wont' be evident when someone walks by. Not a big deal, fortunately my company is very "just get your sh*t done we don't care if it's at the beach", but when people walk in i immediately open another screen on the right monitor so that by the time they're closer to me, something non-fun is up.

I went to the bathroom AGAIN, and when I had locked my computer (we have to do that before we go soemwhere, which everyone should do) i had my outlook email on the left, and this blog open on the right.

As I walked back in, a coworker followed me in to talk about something...all I hoped is that he wouldn't ask me to check something which would require me to log in, and immediately the "I'm really having an abortion?" header would jump out before i could minimize it. Note to self: be more stealth in the next week.

I wish i weren't so hungry! I refuse to believe it's from pregnancy, you're only supposed to have like an extra 100 cals a day, this whole thing of eating for two is what overweight people use to allow themselves to eat more. you're really only supposed to gain around 10-20lbs during your pregnancy if you're relatively small-framed and short (which i am). And being that i'm what, 4 weeks along, i dont' think that's an excuse to eat 2 bags of cheetos.

From the Un-Expecting site, she mentioned her lack of a glow. You have NO idea. My skin is a mess, fortunately I have a tetracycline prescription I got from a dermatologist for breakouts but I'm sure if i were keeping this baby, i shouldn't be using it. My upper lip is a disaster. I got one so bad above my lip, and then of course i started picking at it, which actually somehow made the skin RIP all the way down my lip. Then i had to go into meetings looking like I had some big herpes sore on my mouth. I didn't have any lipstick (I'm a lipgloss/lipsmackers kinda girl) so I had to suffer through. Lovely.

I napped for over an hour at lunch in my car.

So I reiterate: other than bad skin, tiny bladder, and extreme fatigue, you wouldn't know I'm pregnant. WTF can't I briefly get boobs?!!! Well, i suppose it's a good thing...no stretch marks...there'd be nothing worse than an A-cup with stretch marks on them.

Oh I'm also crazy emotional. But I think that's again not so much the pregnancy as much as oh YEAH something i wanted so badly for years I now have but cant' keep and I'm just plain pissed off at myself.

This whole thing blows. $395...i actually think my insurance would cover it,but I'm trying to be as stealth as possible. Knowing my luck if i needed fertility treatment down the road they'd deny me because of this, and I'm already annoyed i had to give my social (i should have accidentally given one digit wrong, but in my hesitation I figured being shady wouldn't be good for the karma i desperately need).

Coworker just came in again. Man I should do like i do for my other blogs and type this up in notepad t hen paste so it'll be a bit more inconspicuous.